“Listen To What Our Children Have To Say” By Charlton Earle' Jennings

I am an incarcerated father of a fourteen year old son. I wonder daily what life is like for him without my physical presence. I have been incarcerated since he was four months old. However, due to the healthy relationship that his mother and I have, I have been blessed with being an active part of my sons’ life from day one to present.

I know the importance of being there for my son mentally and emotionally while he is growing up. This consists of a lot of phone calls, often two to three times a day. Being approximately eight and a half hours away from home, it is a blessing for me to see him at least three times a year.

I receive the local News paper, and read about the relentless increase in crime. So many young male and female youths, and young adults are being detained into the system earlier. There are many reasons for this. But how often do we grownups actually take the time to listen to our children? I mean really listen about topics such as school violence, religion, or their thoughts about possible solutions to the increase in teen violence?

Well, I posed this question to my fourteen year old son. “What do you think adults need to do in order to keep the young men and women out of the streets?” He replied “Man, Dad I am so happy that somebody asked me that question. Grownups need to pay more attention to us about how we feel, and what we do. They need to listen to us more.” For example, when I try to give advice or express my opinion, the adults will be like “Shit boy you think you know everything. I don’t think I know everything, but I do know my generation. If a grownup can’t relate or does not have respect then no one will listen to them. The grownups need to have stuff in common with our generation. They have to show they care.” What do you mean son, how can they do that I asked.” He replied, “They can do things with them, listen and teach them how to walk thru life. Give them advice and positive direction, be there for them.” Like a mentor I asked? “Yeah, he replied.”

Basically as I listened to my fourteen year old son, I understood what he was saying. He personally is disciplined, responsible and doing well. He is good academically, and is involved in martial arts. I credit his mother, my mother and his uncle for being a mentor to him. As well as family, his mothers friends for having a positive relationship with him and one another. And I quote the African proverb “it takes a village to raise a child.”

My son attends a prep school, and displays leadership skills. Overall he is doing well. I am very proud of him and I tell him often. However I will also inform him immediately if he isn’t living up to his potential and standards.

We must pay attention to our children and youth. We need to strive to be good examples, even if we fall. We must still love, care and parent them. This is our parental obligation. Our children watch us. They observe how we handle life trials and situations. No one’s perfect, we all make mistakes. However, we adults set the moral standards by how we love, live and what we believe. This is our legacy and what our children will follow. In closing, remember to “Listen to what our children have to say.”

Charlton Earle Jennings, Author

“Inspirational Thoughts: Freedom of the Truth from Within”